Remind me why we decided this was for the best
by Sukkit
Summary: Angsty Faberry. Can't tell you much without giving the story away. Inspired by Maria Mena songs Miss you love. I'm not sure how good this is, but enjoy!


**Remind me why we decided this was for the best**

I do not own any of the characters. Sorry, for how angsty it is. I was inspired by the song Miss you love by Maria Mena. Have fun? This might just break you heart. Reviews would be awesome!

Sitting up slowly, Quinn made her way into a sitting position. Her room was pitch black, the curtains had been drawn for weeks now, maybe even months. She wasn't sure anymore. Pulling her legs up to her chest, Quinn observed the black hole that had become her room _It wasn't fair. None of this was fair. What did she do to deserve this? _She thought looking up at the ceiling. _Was she looking down on her, and crying? Maybe she is jus-_ her thought process was interrupted by a knock on the door. Grabbing for the shirt that lay next to her, Quinn waited for her mother to leave.

"Quinn, honey, would you like something to eat?" Judy called through the door. Quinn opened her mouth to respond, but then thought better and snapped it shut. She didn't trust her voice anymore. She hadn't spoken since that day at the park.

"Quinnie? Please come out. It's been two months." Judy pleaded with the door. Still, Quinn sat completely still, clutching the shirt to her chest, until she heard her mother sigh and shuffle away. She really couldn't blame her mother for trying. _I just wish she'd leave me alone. I just want Rach-_ Quinn snapped her eyes close and shook her head bringing the shirt up to her nose. It had long ago stop smelling of her, but Quinn still tried to find that one spot that smelled like her.

Sighing, she got up from her bed and made her way to the bathroom. It was still a mess from last night. _No, it wasn't last night, you fool. Two months, Quinn. It was two months ago._ The voice in her head reminded her. Caught up in her own daze, she doesn't even think about the glass that's littering the floor, until she steps on it. Hissing out in pain, Quinn wobbles her way over to the tub and sinks down against it. _Stupid glass. Stupid foot. Stupid, stupid, stupid girl!_ Quinn thought angrily as assessed the damage. _Nothing too bad. _She thought. _Nothing I don't deserve._

Looking up, Quinn couldn't help but let her eyes rake over the bathroom.

_She couldn't think of anything else to do. She was hurt and angry. "It's your entire fault", was on a nonstop loop inside her heard, as she paced back and forth in the bathroom. "Why did she have to leave me alone? It's just not fair!" Quinn exclaimed as her fist made contact with the mirror. She hadn't noticed the damage that was done, until Judy came running in, with Quinn curled on the floor in a ball with glass surrounding her. Not knowing what to do, Judy just kneeled down in the glass next to her, mumbling soothing words. It took hours before Quinn even became aware of her surroundings. She took notice of her hand wrapped in gauze and the broken pieces surrounding her. "How ironic, I'm laying among the broken pieces." was Quinn's first thought. _

"_Honey? We need to get this cleaned up. We don't want you to cut yourself on something else." Judy spoke soft and gently as if Quinn was going to break. Quinn just continued to lay there, staring out into nothing, trying to figure out how to fix this. "Quinnie?" Judy tried again. "C'mon sweetheart, we have to get you cleaned up." Still, she was met with silence. Thinking it was for the best; Judy gave Quinn a kiss on the forehead and left her to her thoughts. _

Coming back to reality, Quinn tried to hold back a sob. "I miss you." Quinn whispered softly as more tears began to fall. _Why did you decide this was for the best? Why? What about me? What am I supposed to do?_ Quinn asked looking up at her ceiling again. "I miss you, love." She whispered again, like she was waiting for a response. _Two months. That's two months too long, Quinn. Go! You need to go!_ The voice in her head demanded of her.

Pushing herself up, Quinn shuffled back into her room. Pulling on a hoodie, Quinn grabbed her keys and the shirt she never parted with. Slipping out the door and down the stairs, Quinn tried to be as quiet as possible. At least that was the plan, if she had remembered to skip the third step from the bottom of the stairwell.

"Quinnie?" Judy exclaimed half surprised half worried. Her daughter hadn't been out of her room in two months. Quinn barley ate anymore and hadn't said a word, since receiving the news. Standing up, Judy approached her daughter at the bottom of the landing. "Where are you going?" Judy questioned her daughter. Quinn just stared blankly at her, all the while grasping the shirt in her hand tighter and tighter.

Noticing this, Judy tried to smile. It was more of a grimace. "Go." was all she said as she squeezed Quinn's hand. Without a second thought, Quinn raced out of the house and to her car. _You can do this._ She thought as she backed out of the driveway. _You __**need**__ to do this._ She didn't think too deeply about where she was going. It would only make this harder to do. _I should have asked someone to come with me._ _But then again, who do I even have anymore?_ It had been two months since she left. It had been two months since Quinn last talked. It had been two months since she even tried to live and be alive. _How would you have even asked, Quinn? You don't bother to talk anymore. _ The voice taunted.

Without even noticing, Quinn had arrived. _She shouldn't be here. This is my entire fault._ Taking a deep breath, she cut the engine and exited that car. Grip still firmly on the t-shirt. _How am I even supposed to know where she is?_ She asked herself. _Follow your heart. _The voice urged. Continuing to wonder, Quinn just stared at the ground, trying to block this place from her mind. _She shouldn't be here. She should be home, with me._ were the only words going through her head.

Looking up, Quinn lost it. Sinking down to her knees, she ran her fingers along the engravings. _Rachel Barbra Berry. Our little star. May her voice sing from the heavens. _Curling in on herself, Quinn began to sob harder. "Why did you have to leave me?" She choked out in a raspy voice. "You are my world, Rae! Why did it have to be you?" Gripping the shirt to her chest, Quinn couldn't help but reply that day over again.

_It was another ordinary fall day in Lima, Ohio. Glee had just gotten out and Rachel and Quinn were on their way to the park. It was their place; the place where Quinn had gotten the courage to finally ask Rachel to be hers. Pulling up to the park, the two made their way over to the swings, their swings. "C'mon Quinn!" Rachel giggled hoping on a swing. "Push me!" Shaking her head, Quinn made her way behind the tiny diva and began to push._

_Squealing with excitement, Rachel began to swing her legs, "High Quinnie! I want to touch the sky!" With one last push, Quinn watched the love of her life fly higher into the sky. It still amazed her how this tiny girl, held so much of her heart. She was content to just sit and watch her and listen to that angelic laugh. _

"_You're staring." Rachel stated as she began to stop herself. Smiling even bigger, Quinn walked around to the front of the girl and held out her hands. Instantly, Rachel took them and launched herself into the arms that were her safe heaven. Her world. Home. "I love you." Quinn whispered into Rachel's ear, causing a shiver to come from the girl. "I love yo.."_

"_Hey dykes!" came a voice from behind Quinn. Whirling around, Quinn pulled Rachel behind her and glared at the boy. "Aw, isn't this precious. Quinn Fabgay is protecting Rupaul." The boy sneered moving closer. "Don't. Call. Her. That." Quinn gritted through her teeth. Laughing the boy continued making his way towards them, "And what are you going to do about it? There's no one here, but us." _

_Watching the boy look over her shoulder, Quinn quickly spend around only to be met with three other boys coming at them. "Shit." Quinn swore under her breath. "Rachel, I'm going to distract them and you have to run." _

"_But Quinn-"_

"_No! Don't argue with me. I need you to run Rachel. Get help. Take the car."_

_Looking around, Quinn realized she had no chance and prayed to God that Rachel would get away. "When I say go, run. Run as fast as you can and don't look back. Do you understand me, Rae?" Feeling the girl nod, Quinn got ready to fight. "I love you." She said, barley above a whisper. Looking back for half a second, she tried to memorize each inch of the girls face. _

"_Go!" She shouted as she rammed her elbow into the nearest boys' stomach. "Hey! Get back her you little slut!" screamed one of the boys as he began to chase after Rachel. All thoughts vanished from Quinn's mind as she began to run with all her might after the two. _

_With the other three hot on her trail, Quinn tried to pick up speed, but the boys were gaining and Rachel and the other boy was too far ahead. "Rachel, run!" Quinn screamed. The instant the words left her mouth, she knew that was the worst thing for her to do. Turning her head, Rachel looked to see the boy gaining and wound up tripping on a tree root. Screaming out in pain, Rachel fell to the ground. "Thought you could get away, did you?" The boy questioned as he stood over her. Cowering, Rachel tried getting up only to be kicked back down._

"_Rachel!" Quinn screamed trying her hardest to get to Rachel, but it wasn't any good. The boys behind her had caught up to her and held her back as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. "You think you can just walk around flaunting your disgusting homo ways?" The boy asked as he rained punch after punch down onto the small girl._

"_No! Please, stop! Don't hurt her. Hurt me! You can do anything to me, but just not her!" Quinn screamed as tears started flowing down her face. "Shut the fuck up, dyke." The tallest of the boys holding her screamed as he slapped her across the face. "Now, watch what happens when you try to run from us." he said as he grabbed her face making her watch on with terror as the love of her life was being beaten and kicked. _

_With one last kick to the stomach, the boy stood over Rachel and spat in her face. "Fucking dyke, won't ever think about running again." Laughing he motioned for the other boys to follow him. Giving Quinn a good punch to the stomach, they left laughing and high fiving each other. "Rae.." Quinn breathed crawling over to the girl. _

_The love of her life, lay there cough and sputtering. Blood coming from her nose, and mouth. "Rae. You gotta hold on a little longer, baby." Quinn cried as she cradled the girl in her arms. "Quinn…"Rachel rasped reaching up for Quinn's face. "I'm hear baby. I'm right here. Hold on." Quinn said as she ran to the car as fast as possible. "Quinn." Rachel wheezed reaching for her face again. "I love you."_

"_No Rach. Don't say your goodbyes yet. Stay strong, love. You have to stay strong." Quinn pleaded as tears spilt from her eyes down onto the girl laying in her arms. "I love you, baby. Always remember that." Rachel's voice was so quiet. _

_The car seemed so far away, when Rachel's body began to convulse. "Rachel! Stay with me! C'mon baby." Quinn screamed as she clutched the convulsing girl closer to her. As soon as the young star had started to shake, it stopped. Looking through blurry eyes, Quinn found the light that once shone so bright in her girlfriends eyes was now gone. Her breathing had stopped and her body had begun to get colder._

"_Rae" Quinn squeaked, "No, Rae. You can't leave me." Quinn said curling the girl into her body and laying down. _

Bringing her hand up to the stone again, Quinn tries to remember how long she laid there with Rachel before the girls fathers had found them. It was far too late, by then and it took everything to get her to let go of the now dead girl. Flinging herself across the tomb stone, Quinn sobbed. "I'm so sorry I couldn't save you, Rae. I love you so much. It's all my fault. I'm the one who deserved to die." Clinging onto the tomb stone for dear life, Quinn tried to pretend like it was Rachel she was holding. She tried to imagine how soft Rachel's skin was and the way her breath also tickled across her neck, but it was no use. This cold stone offered no comfort to her.

It was dark again by the time, Quinn had calmed done enough to properly breath. She had moved to leaning against the tomb with Rachel's shirt clutched to her chest. She was too numb to think, too numb to notice anything. "Quinn…?" came a low soft voice.

Jumping, Quinn looked up with a tear streaked face. "Leroy?" She rasped trying to squint into the dark. It was no use. Her eyes hurt from crying and not sleeping anymore. "Oh Quinn." Leroy hushed as her scooped the girl up. "She's gone, Papa." Quinn whimpered into his chest. "She's gone and it's all my fault."

Holding the girl to his chest, Leroy began to rock her as tears spilled down his cheeks. "No, sweetheart. You didn't kill her. It's not your fault, that those assholes have no heart." He tried to soothe.

"If I had just run faster, tried harder. I could have saved her."

"There's nothing you could have done, Quinn."

"I should have tried harder." Quinn whispered as she pulled away not meeting the mans' eyes. _He smells too much like her. It hurts so much._ Quinn thought holding the shirt to her heart. "Quinn?" Leroy said trying to get the girls attention.

Shaking her head, Quinn looked up with tears ready to spill again. Before Leroy could wrap her in his arms again she was gone. Running through the cemetery; back to her car, back to her world of silence and darkness.

Running inside the house, Quinn doesn't even bother to stop when her mother calls out to her. Her worried filled voice just makes Quinn run faster. Faster up the stairs. Faster to lock the door. Faster to the broken piece of glass.

"Quinn!" Judy shouts banging on the door. "Quinn! Open the door and talk to me! It's going to be okay." Judy shouts still trying to get in.

"Go away!" Quinn screams as she rocks back and forth on the floor of her bathroom. "Just go away! It was my fault! I deserve to be dead. Not her! Not Rachel!" Quinn sobbed and she began to carve into her arm.

Blood was flowing fast and she couldn't see through her own tears, but she felt it. Quinn felt the end coming and felt an eerily calm effect start to flow through her body. _I was the one who deserved to die. I wonder where she is. Will you be waiting for me, love?_ Were the last words Quinn Fabray was to ever think.

They found her body slumped against the bathtub, with Rachel's shirt securely in her hand. The blood was everywhere. There was too much to have any hope in thinking that she could be saved. When they were cleaning her body for her funeral, they found the words she had carved into her arms, _And I miss you, love._


End file.
